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Ode to My Diseased Right Boob

Breast of Vigeland sculpture

Ahhh, the nipple, the source of  mammals, the perfect infant food, and let’s not forget the great pleasure received from the nerve endings.  After all, we want to get something good out of a mouth chomping on a piece of very sensitive tissue, else infants and significant others everywhere would be left hungry and unsatisfied.  I was proud of two areas of my body: my boobs and my hair. And I lost both.  Pretty humiliating to say the least, and I lost a lot of female esteem.  But I have a strong and quirky sense of humor, and in my lighter moments I made the most of the funny stuff that I ran into every day.  So I called my tumor BOOB (Breast on Oncology Binge) and sought out the funny in the sad. I hope you like my attempt below (100% true BTW) at some humor at the expense of my soon-to-be removed breast.

“Ode to my diseased right boob”

Oh nipple, you may be inverted.

Quite shy, you never flirted,

but, when pressed, you valiantly squirted

into my babies’ mouths.

Milk ducts, your production, always poor!

I give you a “0” out of “4”.

Now, to even the score

you are taking me south.

Areola, you’re way to light!

I have to squint with all my might

and, well, that just aint right!

But that’s what God made me…sigh…

I have previously joked in many “FB Posts”

that my funny bone’s THE MOST…..so…

“My mouth is my boob’s best host”

and THAT’s no lie!

I love you boob!

You get my hubby in the mood!

And, sob, I’ll really miss you….dude…..

I was diagnosed with aggressive grade 9 triple negative breast cancer 2 years ago.  While this has been a difficult period in my life,  this illness has forced me to introspection and action where I have been lazy and procrastinate.  I never had a “bucket list”; I never knew “how I liked my eggs cooked”, but I have discovered that I want to display talents that in the past I used to amuse only myself or a small group of friends.  In the last 6 months I have written or completed 50+ poems from all categories under the sun, and I will be posting them over time so keep looking!  And yes, I really CAN suck on my own boob, a talent I unfortunately cannot post by photo without outrage from (some) of the community…


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