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Dr Seuss: My Fig Wig and Puce Striped Pants

Adele in Crazy Wig

Adele in Crazy Wig (Photo credit: rileyroxx)

This is a fun and mildly entertaining rhyme that I wrote for the Halloween season. I have the mentality of an 8 year old, and just love to write goofy rhymes a la Dr Seuss!  This rhyme  is about a mom and teenage daughter fighting over a Halloween outfit for a silly themed dance.  And I shall let you read to see who wins in the end! Although, in sympathy for the daughter, I simply would not be caught dead in this outfit, theme or no theme!  The picture is my vision for what the wig might look like, unfortunately I could not find pants that fit the description, I guess they are one of a kind…..


“Look my dear what I have bought;

a new wig and pair of pants.

It was quite a fight I fought

for I got them on the sale aisle.

What a great Halloween themed style!”


“Yikes, those are a fright!

Those pants are out of sight!

The legs are too long!

It is too tight round my bum!

It fits me all wrong!

It just isn’t right!

Are those puce stripes?

Why are they so bright?

This will take away all my fun…

I CANNOT wear those ugly pants!

You make me want to rave and rant.

I cannot like it!  NO I CANT!”

And that horrible wig!

It’s the color of a fig!

Its so ugly and big!

And look at all that frizz!

Oh how I hate this thing!

These hairs are just threads!

This wig looks like strings;

I cannot hold up my head;

I cannot wear this over my hair!

My friends will surely giggle and stare!

I look like a MUPPET, don’t you care?”

Surely this is a huge jest!

This outfit is a hot mess!

I don’t care if you got it for less;

take it back with the rest!

This outfit fills me with dread;

Im going to bed to hide my head!”


“MY- DEAR, surely you know

this caterwalling must now slow

or to the dance you will not go.

This silly outfit fits the theme.

You will shine at that dance scene.

And rise to the top like milky cream.

Cannot means unable to;

WILL NOT is what you really mean.

Now I suggest you enlargen your view

or life as you know it will be through.”


“I did not mean to offend….

Could I start a new trend?

Hmmm… is this a new fashion?

I will be quite unusual and dashing

to keep my popularity from crashing.

Thank you mom, you are the best!

I will look so much better than the rest!

My fig wig and striped pants

will look amazing at that dance!”


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