Beware the words “Upgrade” and “Mustang” in one sentence

It’s spring break and I am in Scottsdale, Arizona, enjoying an unusually hot week. Lovely when Kansas City is cold and snowy. Unfortunately everyone else in the world on spring break decided to take a flight to Arizona. The only available one was a 9 pm flight with a price tag that made me close my eyes as I booked it.  After an exhausting day of Making My House Perfect (a OCD quirk of mine), I got off the plane with a mind-numbing zombie walk. I hate the commotion and stress of luggage retrieval.  Phoenix changed our luggage area twice. I was a wandering amoeba, a sea of faces with no ability to focus.  We managed to get to the car rental, and as I sunk down in an exhausted haze, I told my husband that he had to the dirty work and get our car.  After 20 minutes, he came back with a Cheshire-cat smile that looked like he had eaten a gourmet dinner of mice and bird.  He said, “They gave us a free upgrade, I cant wait to see it.”  That’s all, no description. I was too tired to enquire, but I imagined something larger than the hum-drum midsize we had ordered.

After a long haul, Phoenix renal car area a small city in itself, he stopped at a sports car and said, “Look, it’s a MUSTANG”.  I looked and saw a steel grey, brand new icon of what was the opposite of my fantasy.  I don’t know Mustangs’, other than the idea that it is NOT a family car.  I looked at my son and husband.   They were lost, mouths open, drooling at the altar of testosterone history.  I opened the trunk and turned furious eyes on him.  “This is NOT a trunk conducive to 4 people and 10 pieces of luggage!” I stomped over to the door, and was confused.  Where was the back seat door?  With horror, I realized it had only TWO DOORS.  I looked at the tiny interior, the front overtaken by a console as big as the seats and the entrance to the back so small I would need a shoehorn to enter.


“WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!”  I screamed.  His grin slipped a little.  “But it was an upgrade and a MUSTANG.”  Oh, heck, spare me from men making decisions with their man-parts.  I inwardly cursed my laziness.  This would NOT have happened if I just had gone to the counter with him.

So I endure a car with a hood as large as the rest of it, and the choice of an uncomfortable front seat, or the indignity of awkwardly crawling in the back without grace, style and a whole lotta’ complaining. My husband is relentless when he wants me to really try something and, worn down, I was arm twisted into driving the beast.  How do people see over the hood? How do people see out the back and sides? I was in a wormhole that could turn on a dime and drive like the wind.  But I didn’t need a wormhole.  I needed to see and drive like someone who didn’t know the area.  I got out, told him he was never going to the counter again, and stomped into our timeshare.  The words “Mustang” and “Upgrade” should be BANNED from any sentence when  a man is in earshot.

14 comments on “Beware the words “Upgrade” and “Mustang” in one sentence

  1. Sorry, Lorene. I know it isn’t funny to you, but this is really funny. As considerate as I would normally like to be of my wife, even I would have succumbed to this temptation of an upgrade. Hope it doesn’t/didn’t spoil your vacation. Sooo glad hubby could get away from work for a few days!

    • Yes, men in general get all goofy over the icon of masculinity. I am ENDURING. And it was meant to be funny, I love to post my silly “trials”, which are many, in a goofy light! Soon I will start a series of quotes: “your know you are getting old when….” Light humor makes the world a happier place. I have a couple of Odes that are pretty amusing in my queue!

  2. Maybe hubby should be crawling in and out of the back seat while *you* drive. 😉

    • HEHEHE, I did drive it. Scared the pee out of me. Really hard to see out of the back and sides and the hood is a definite obstruction. Need to get on a road to zoom, but the police are pretty vigilent out here. I cant have ANOTHER speeding ticket on my license!

  3. Sorry Lori, but made me chuckle! We had a hotel in downtown Chicago “upgrade” us to a suite once, which normally means bedroom/living room with fold out couch, refrigerator etc. Anyway we all get up there, no fold out so, it is just a queen bedroom and a living room with a couch—-um our reservations do say 4 (yes, actually we have 5 but always bring an air mattress because otherwise you have to get 2 rooms) Anyway, seriously, I think if you don’t all troop up to the counter, they forget to look at the number of people in your group—they brought up a roll away and we were good, but I always question “upgrade” now.

    • Aha, found your comment. Making the children suck it up. Im too old for couch sleeping. Will upgrade next time, this is an amazing place. Yellowstone is pretty close to Powell (Powell dam starts the Colorado flow), so we need to hit dad hard to go on a family event. The canyon was so amazing, truly the fingerprint of God. There is so much to do here it is dizzying. Sonoma was beautiful, but to my sadness, no psychic vibrations 🙂 We hit the perfect week–10-15 degrees above normal and sunny all week. Not my typical “luck”.

  4. oops forgot to put my info in–so anonymous was me 🙂

  5. Free. From that point on, I’m with Brent.

    • HAHAHA, to be young and free again….comfort drives one when old age and arthritis creeps into life, making pretzel movements difficult! Other than snide comments, I have adapted.

  6. Welcome to AZ, snow bird! Feel free to take the too-early-to-be-this-hot weather home with you.

    I feel for you and your recently acquired Mustang. I have never understood the fascination with sports cars (fine, yes, maybe because I’m a girl), but especially Mustangs. I hope you are enjoying AZ, nonetheless!

    • It’s amazing, a whole new world. Yesterday we went to the Grand Canyon by helicopter, Navaho reservation and Sonoma. Exhausting 14 hours. No rest for the old and weary!

  7. Also, beware the words “Pizza Hut” and “Upgrade” in the same sentence. I have noticed some real Wingstreet whoppers when Joe Worker is trying to explain what you get extra…you don’t, so abandon all dollars ye who enter there…or at least say no to the upgrade.

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