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Confessions from a Die-Hard Licker

Hello, my name is Lori and I am an incurable finger licker.



It’s my moms’ fault.  In the 70’s and earlier, one licked to check to see that the right ingredients were added.  Once my mom mixed up flour with sugar.  Without that necessary lick, the dessert, destined for the almighty Baptist “potluck” supper, would have been a flop.  And my mom has a reputation for great food, so a bad dessert would have hit her psyche pretty hard.
But I am not just a one-lick licker.  I am a bowl licker.  And a knife licker.  And a spatula licker.  It goes way beyond the one necessary “check lick”.
My daughter grew up in the “licking is bad” age.  Both she and my husband HATE licking.  “Mom, that’s just nasty”, she says.  That’s a little funny with 4 cats who spread their dirty cat litter and microscopic feces and organisms all over everything with their little cat paws.  I at least lick with clean hands.

After all I AM a nurse.


Yes, I have ruined the profession forever with my occupational confession.  But I am two people.  The infection-conscious pediatric dialysis nurse and the wipe-their-nose-with-my-sleeve mom.  Too busy to wash hands for 20 seconds after each activity.
Have I ever been “bit” by my licking passion?  No…..but my lick-hating daughter had a terrible bout of salmonella.  And NOT from licking!  She got salmonella from an unknown source.  As the only child with this horrible food-borne illness both at her school and my house, neither I nor the FDA ever discovered the source.  But 2 weeks of screaming, diarrhea and dehydration ALMOST cured my habit.  And her pathetic, “I got this and I don’t lick ever.  That’s not FAIR!” just ate me alive with remorse. 

For a while I didn’t lick.  When I was on chemo my buds took a prolonged vacation, so no licking then either.  But, it returned halfway as my buds have returned halfway.  I am now a lick snob.  I have a couple of baking items that taste as good or better raw, and I CANNOT resist.  Someday, a food borne illness will make me quit cold turkey.  Until then, my habit is as embarrassing as a smoking lung surgeon.  🙂

Ode to the Finger Licker

Dreaded secret embarrassing to tell.

I am a uncooked batter licker…..

and a registered nurse as well!

Could there be anything sicker?

Professional respect now hard to sell.

While not a boogie flicker,

or and ear-wax picker,

this does not my conscience quell.

So what action could be the kicker?

 I need an “I’m-a-licker” forehead sticker

to keep hand from mixer well.


I'm interested in your thoughts and ideas!

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