10 Comments

Chemo’s Wear on Hair Part One

Lori hawaii 2010 DecWild hair in Hawaii before Chemo

Thicker, curly hair is supposed to be a “perk” after chemotherapy after it grows back.  My hair was already at the pinnacle of thick and curly, as seen in the photo above, yes, I would rival the Wild Woman of Borneo!  I imagined that I would have an Afro-like effect, requiring straighteners and hair thinning.

And I was mis-informed. Or God chose to humble me a bit, as my hair was a part of me that I really loved.  I now have probably 1/3 of the hair I had before chemotherapy.  And it is a loss that I see multiple times a day.  A small thing, I know, but it makes me sad.  And I have a little head, so my load of hair kinda balanced me out a bit.  Now I am a peanut head with a large booty.  Not a pretty picture. I have a wig I used during chemo when I was bald as a nut. It’s a great wig and looks awesome on me (left-handed “complimenters” actually said they liked it better than my real hair!)

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My great wig

But wigs are hot, itchy and, well, WIGS.  Fake.  And after a mastectomy and a boob from my abdomen, I don’t want any more fake, thank you.  I want my hair back.  Why did everyone else get cool hair and I didn’t?

I went to my oncology appointment recently and asked my doctor if he thought my hair was just a “late bloomer”.  He looked at my records, said that after a year and a half what I had was what I had, and probably the methotrexate that I had to take for inflammatory disease complicated the return of my hair.  But I had hair, and decent eyebrows and eyelashes before…..sob…..

I decided to create bangs today.  So after a shower, I combed my hair and parted it like one should do and looked at the thin lines of hair that hung over my forehead.  Pathetic.  A couple of snips and half of the hair on the top of my head was now hanging in thin stings on my forehead. Gollum-like.  I stood there and was too sad to even cry.  Cancer survivors carry untold personal grief with them in exchange for prolonged life.  I know most still choose the treatment, but no one could prepare me for my own personal unique losses.

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The hair that should  be there

I guess, if I look on the bright side, I am now very sympathetic to men who lose their hair. I should join a Hair Loss Support Group.  Not sure if there is one, but as there seems to be a support group for everything, I’m sure I can find one.  Not that it would get me my hair back.  Support groups are fine if they GO somewhere.  And I would rather not mire in my hair woes.  Hair  is a crown of beauty and youth, and the loss of it signals a loss of the best time in life.

Plus, most people definitely look much better with hair, excepting the gorgeous men who look good filthy with a scraggly beard and not a hair on their head…. the dawgs!

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10 comments on “Chemo’s Wear on Hair Part One

  1. Try Biotin tablets every day. I think they work great. I also hear that Ovation hair products help after chemo if your hair isn’t coming back. I also like your wig.

  2. Whether one has lots of hair, little hair, or no hair; whether male or female; the thinning or loss of hair definitely does a difficult work of contentment for what little hair we have or don’t; it forces us to make a massive and difficult attitude adjustment about how we see ourself, how others see us, and how God Himself sees us. You’re beautiful as is, Lori. Regardless of a person’s physicial or facial features, the inner person–the real you–gives or enhances the beauty that a person has that physical beauty alone, not even make-up, cannot give. I’ve known or been acquainted with really beautiful people–both women and men–that were really ugly in nature, character, or conduct. I’ve worked with mentally-ill, special-needs adults that were the most beautiful of souls despite their physical impairments.True beauty begins in the soul, in the inside, the real you. While I don’t know much about you, judging from your poems and posts, I think you’re well on the way to winning some kind of beauty award from God. Stay close to Him, Lori. Let Him has His way with you. And you’ll be the most beautiful you.

    • Thank you for the encouragement! It doesn’t bother me too often, but now and then I feel pretty sad about it. Too many physical changes and not enough time to adjust. It is a scary thing at times to remember that God only cares about the state of our hearts. Its a lot easier to pretty up our physical state.

  3. Lori, you’re beautiful. Hugs.

  4. I really get the hair thing. It’s such a part of one’s identity. You really should move to Israel. Married women there get to wrap their heads in the most gorgeous turbans! It’s like a competition to see who can make the most outrageous creation on her head! It’s a Jewish thing, but I wouldn’t tell 😉

    • I had lots of fun with hats and scarves when I was bald as a peanut. I twisted scarves on hats, pinned hats with funny pins, had hats to match outfits. Baldness isn’t so bad if one can be creative about it! And yes, I love the beautiful head coverings that I see on TV! Of course, without it the poor women would be sunburned, so I can see the common sense in it irrespective of religious laws. And Ive always wanted to be Jewish. Whether or not you believe in God, I do and I think you all are His chosen people. How awesome is that? Your history is the richest in the world, and best recorded. And you are an amazingly resilient people.

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