10 Comments

Ode to Saggy Baggy Pants

A man walking with saggy pants in Paris.

I wrote this because, like any middle aged person, I have forgotten what it is like to be young and a slave to your hormones.  And dress is your outer skin to the world.  Men want women, women want money, so the strange fashions continue so that this never ending cycle will produce the next generation.  While I understand this, I do believe that fashion in the 80’s wasn’t quite this, er, unattractive, and I rag my son constantly over his “Im a penguin with a load in his pants” walk.  Hope you enjoy my poke at the young and fashionably undressed and……

PULL YOUR PANTS UP!

Who could think that fashion  would sink

to wearing pants under your bum.

This drives most  rational dressers to drink;

while this is quite “swag “ to some.

Teens these days with butt showing ways

are immune to eye rolling stares.

Don’t they know that the low pant craze

is not something people want them to share?

As usual they think that their “shit don’t stink”

otherwise they simply don’t care.

I cant imagine why holding up  their pants

does not drive them insane!

If they knew how silly the wiggle dance

looked, Im sure they would refrain.

And who wants to see their underwear

that often is nothing to brag about?

I certainly have no desire to “see down there”;

some bums are simply not meant to hang out.

I have threatened to lower my own pants in protest

(although the poor souls in my rear view

would not appreciate my mid-life jest)

just to offend this generation’s teenage crew.

But as my butt is saggy, dimpled and fat,

I shall refrain from  embarrassing you.

Some day their child’s teenage craze

will make teens today scream and shout.

Until then, we smarter persons must bend

to suffering this embarrassing craze out.

Ok, Ok, this may be “quirky” but it is really a cry for help from a mom who is sick of seeing her son’s ass hanging out of his pants.  Now, as his proud progenitor, I do have to say that the little bubble is as cute now as it was at the tender age of 2, but its been many years since he was Licensed to Moon.  I am Just Not Impressed with the Low Riders. Why does anyone think this is a decent way to deliver your image?  Looking (and walking) like you have a huge load in your pants is an enviable state? Although, now that I have Vomited up My Distaste and Can Think Clearly,  emulating the walk of a penguin is a free form of entertainment, so perhaps I should just Grin, take lots of Pics for Future Blackmailing Opportunities and Enjoy….

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10 comments on “Ode to Saggy Baggy Pants

  1. YAY for someone else with good taste. This is the worst age for fashion I’ve come across since the days I answered the cave door in my bearskins ( no the bearskins didn’t have a cave door). Bring back Edwardian elegance or Hippy colours but keep the body firmly in the clothing please.
    xx Hugs xx

  2. Great poem! I can’t figure out this current fashion crazy either. At least in the eighties we tended to dress up even when we were dressed down. One town near where I live has enacted and ordinance against kids wearing their pants on the low. It’ll be interesting to see how it plays out after they start issuing citations…

    • I think if parents just started dropping their drawers whenever they were out with their kids, the pants would hike right back up where they should be. And that is for both sexes! Yes, shock value is definitely the vogue at present. I guess I should be thankful we are not resurrecting the caveman look….yet.

  3. apparently, I read somewhere that this “thing” for wearing your trousers down by your knees was started in prison where inmates would do it to indicate that they were willing to have sex… looking in the urban dictionary here http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=low%20rider it seems it indicate the same thing. Perhaps you should make him aware of these facts 😛

    • Sigh, he knows it. And yes, it is absolutely the origin. Sad that anyone would want to imitate something so heinous. But it has now branched out to be a symbol of the rapper/skateboarder, why I cant fathom, and my son identifies strongly with this. Thanks for the great link!

  4. It takes all my control not to go up and pull their pants up! Lol this gave me such a good chuckle!! 🙂

  5. I think there should be this big rubber band, you know, and whenever you see someone hanging their arse out, POP! with the rubber band! It could be, like, an adult guerilla warfare on saggy-baggies! I’m sorry your son is doing that. I made mine take the piercings out of his nipples, and he was actually relieved because they hurt. When yours grows out of this, he’ll realize how much his self-respect was compromised by trying to “fit in.”

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