A Costly Texting Mess

Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My son will test any limit set on him.  He has been like this since I was 5 months pregnant.  You laugh!  But it is true, he was so wild that he knotted his umbilical cord and ended up having mild Intrauterine Growth Retardation.  He is the real live version of Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbs fame, my favorite cartoon).  Garin’s will is so strong, and I am a meek hearted soul.  Not a good mix for parenting. I give in WAAAY to easily.  I can say No 20 times, but wimp out on the 21st and will say YES just to shut him up.  Horrible, horrible, God will judge me for sure for my laxity.  But, I am sure some of you can relate to the failures and frustrations of parenting an extremely strong-willed child.  The poem below describes an attempt of mine to set a limit to my disadvantage.

I look back on this poem with amazed wonder that I was so naïve.  It was written 2 years ago with his first phone mistake.  Seven ruined/lost/destroyed phone’s later and $2400 in extra charges still leaves me with my angry eyes ready to shoot out laser beams.

Of course you are looking (or shouting, depending on your competitive spirit) at the screen and thinking, “SEVEN phones? Really?  Who’s running the show here?  Have you lost your mind?”  Well, yes I have.  Each phone had a period of phone free time and punishment, a misery for all.  And each phone had a contract with it, a misery for all. We have tried simple phones, but hearing the complaints over and over, day after day just wear us out.  Eventually, over time, we contract with him for a better phone.

I wish we were back to the days of no phone.  Yes, I could make it that way.  But not knowing where this dangerous and impulsive and unthinking child has placed himself starts panic mode.  This is the last phone EVER.  He has been told to treat it like his BABY.  And yes, we are final on it.  There IS a limit and he has reached it.  And I have seen him be more careful.  We will see.

Samsung Galaxy S3 I9300 Unlocked Cell Phone - Blue. Additional View 1

What is more astonishing,  Garin’s highest monthly text count was 15000.  Yes, a 15 with three zeros.  If math is correct, that is 500 a day, assuming a 30 day month.  Now, it takes me at least a minute to text a short sentence, with several mistakes that need to be wiped or re-typed!  I’ve never seen  faster texting .  In the wild west, he would be Tex, the fastest draw in the west. And I would be bursting with pride….NOT.

Unfortunately the phone issue is just a small part of the problem that is Garin, as I have mentioned in another post.  But the poem below is humorous in my naivety as I look back on my horror of crisis #1 and just shake my head.

With reluctance I agreed
to my son’s stated “need”
to have a cell phone.
“Oh mom, I’m all alone,
ALL my friends have one!”

To satisfy the little man
I added him to my plan.

While at the Verizon store
Garin said, “Oh, one thing more…
I need texting or DIE!”
I rolled my eyes at this lie,
but decided not to be anecdotal
and allowed him 500 texts total.

He grumbled and groaned
and called me mean, but,
as I am the Money Queen
I was oblivious to his moans.
I told him any text over 501
and say goodbye to that phone!

His cell phone never left his side
and, with great- eyed glee and pride,
he entered the “tween” social scene.

For 2 months the total was in the green…..

With no suspicion I opened the month’s bill
and froze in shock as my heart went still.
There MUST be some horrible mistake!
(or my budget this bill will surely break)
For instead of the normal $99
it stated an unbelievable $258!

Loud and long my son protested,
“It is I who have been texted!
My friends are out of control!”

“Dude, you fell down the rabbit hole!
I own you body and soul!
You will have chores and no fun
until after you turn 21!”


5 comments on “A Costly Texting Mess

  1. Wow! 15,000 texts? And people think I have a lot with 3,000. Thank goodness for unlimited texting, huh?

    • lol–the number of my texts per month is a handful of painfully typed hot messes that take many re-do’s before I can send them. I sound like Homer Simpson as I am texting. Garin is my typing hero!

  2. How pleased I am that my kids left home just a mobile phones came into vogue. I do sympathise Lori and I do hope you are able to stick to your guns over this last phone.
    I know parenting was never meant to be easy.

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