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A Mystery Delivery

We get deliveries almost every day.  My husband is an online junkie.  But all deliveries are dropped at my front door.  One evening I was climbing the inside garage steps and tripped over a little box.  Hands full, I kicked it out of the way and went inside.  The  next evening the same thing happened, and again my hands were too full to pick it up. On the third day I had a mild mental breakdown, threw my stuff on the kitchen island and grabbed the box off the step, muttering loudly about lazy people and accidents waiting to happen.  I tossed it on the island.

“Brent!” I screeched.

“What’s wrong?”  My husband knows my exasperation screech, so he just cuts to the chase now.

“I have been tripping over this stupid box on the steps for a couple of days now.  What is it doing on the garage steps?”

“I don’t know.”

“So you haven’t ordered anything?”

“No and it wouldn’t get on the garage steps if I did.”

My eye caught the name of a large medical vendor that my dialysis unit uses.  I thought it was something for me, as I get items now and then at the unit for education.  The outside label had a bar code instead of an address and the name of the medical vendor.  I opened the box and my brain overloaded on WTF.  I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

{GASP]  “Oh. My. Gosh.”

Brent leaned over.  “What is all that?”

[Whisper]  “Narcotics.  Five-Ten-Twenty-five vials of them.  Hydromorphone.  Multi-dose vials.  Someone really Effed up on this.”

“What should we do?”

“Im calling the vendor. I have their main number memorized.”

Box of narcotics

Our box of Dilaudid vials

I examined the box closely now.  The box had random numbers on three sides and “third door” written in ink.  I was CREEPED OUT and cold chills swept up my spine.

“BRENT!”

“Uh-huh”

“Look at all this weird stuff on this box!  Numbers and here is “third door”!  Something REALLY isn’t right about this package!  Do you think this was A DROP that didn’t get connected to the pick up man?”

“No, stop imagining crazy stuff.  As usual our stupid mailperson delievered it to the wrong address.”

“No, NO ONE outside of a major hospital or hospice pharmacy would get this box.  Maybe there is a scam within this medical company and narcs are getting misplaced, only they really aren’t, and our house is a pick up point!”

I was in my own drama series and rolling fast down the melodrama hill…..

Deep breath now,  I had to act, after all, I was a nurse and this is not something I could toss or just keep around the house for a stubbed toe.

So I called the medical company, told them my story and asked for the correct address.  I was transferred four times.  Finally the Vice President of Shipping (this company is very large and one of the main medical suppliers in the country) called me.  He was stunned and told me he would get it picked up and sorted out right away.  A few minutes later a bored delivery manager called and said that I could put it out for the postal service to pick up.

Now I am not stupid.  There are protocols for shipping narcotics.  No way was I going to just stick this out in my mailbox!  And since it is illegal for non-authorized persons to transport it, I was in a quandary as to how to get it safely to the right people.  Plus, I wanted answers as to what was going on and how the heck it got into my garage and what were all these writings–and if I was going to receive anything else.  What if my house was a drop off point? Ok, I was getting a little paranoid, but I thought it was reasonable to rule out a scam, and the medical company needed to investigate it fully.

So I called back and told them I was NOT putting it in my mailbox and not giving it up until I got an answer as to who was negligent, or if this was a matter for the police.  No concrete answer from anyone and the VP did not call me back.

So I talked to many people at my hospital, and everyone thought this was a police matter. But no one from the police or narcotics wanted to handle this problem!  I couldn’t believe it!  I went on the calling rampage.  Somehow I got myself connected to a lawyer at the Kansas City Courthouse, who was very interested in my problem and told me he would find the right agency.  He said my situation was the first he had ever encountered, and very concerned over the suspicious details.  So he helped me contact other people who eventually said that this was in the purview of ATF, but the FBI was interested in this story, and would contact me.

An agent left me a message and I spent a couple of days playing more phone tag (by now it was three weeks of phone calls).  Finally we connected  and I could hear complete unbelief in her tone after hearing my story.  Ok, trying to do the right thing and now I am A Person Of Interest.  She asked me politely to meet her at my house As Soon As Possible.  I raced home, visions dancing around in my head with me in jail and “Dealer” on my forehead.  I met her at the door with another agent who was wearing a huge buckle and cowboy boots.  I stared at the man, too mesmerized to say anything.  Weirder and weirder……

The Box was on the table.  They closely examined the outside, asking me questions about whether I had removed other markings etc.  Oh No Sir! No Mam!  Then they saw that one vial did not have the seal on it.  I told them that I opened one container to make sure there really was vials of Dilaudid inside the boxes.  They looked at me suspiciously and examined the level of the medication closely but could find nothing else to complain about, so I signed a statement and a bunch of papers.  I hesitantly asked if I would find out how this got to my address.  No, I would not be contacted unless other information was needed.

English: 2mg vial of Hydromorphone hydrochlori...

English: 2mg vial of Hydromorphone hydrochloride (Dilaudid)  (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Did I ever find out?

No, and no more interesting packages appeared.  But it was an amazingly weird month and I had a following of “Hydromorphone groupies” who were sad that the excitement ended.

I have used this story on occasion at parties as it is just one of those Nooooo Waaaaayyy tales that never fail to entertain.  Feel free to use it….or if you have a similar strange package tale, please share!!!

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4 comments on “A Mystery Delivery

  1. That is the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard. I think you were right to be paranoid. It’s super creepy. I wouldn’t have been able to sleep that night. Visions of drug lords hiding in the bushes. Who look like that Breaking Bad guy.

    • Honestly! I was nutso the entire time. Especially as I live across the street from an 18 year old drug lord who mooches on his mom, a well to do Anesthesiologist who just cant kick him out of her home. So I had reason for being suspicious–and no, both denied it was theirs!

  2. Agh! That is crazy. If I found a package like that on our doorstep I would freak out too. I mean, that is serious stuff. That is crazy that it randomly wound up at your doorstep. I have never had something that crazy happen before.

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