This week I went to the first session in Intensive Outpatient Therapy, received our “request” to come to court and met with the superintendent of our school district. A trifecta of yuck.
The Intensive Outpatient Therapy was 21/2 hours on an uncomfortable chair in a small room sitting next to a very smelly teenager in a filthy coat. And oh the drama! One girl sobbed the whole time and locked herself into the bathroom. No matter that I had to pee. I suspect her completely selfish, narcissistic self-absorption was driving her problems. Her parents were sobbing; the whole family was in such crisis it was painful to sit through. I tentatively asked if they were seeking individual family counseling and mom went on a huge diatribe about how she couldn’t get anyone to see them Right Now. And I agreed with her; they needed Right Now.
The counselor reviewed the 15 steps of healthy families. I had 15 No’s when I thought of our relationship to our son. And 15 yes’s when I thought of our daughter. Weird, and which went first the chicken or the egg? Are we screwed up or is he? Does it matter?
The request to come to court is on the WORST day. Can I change the appointment? Dare I ask? I may call and see about it as I don’t want to take him out of school and I am in training. I wonder what will go on. While I did talk to a lawyer, I don’t think I will bring one with me. It is just a preliminary fact gathering session. The facts are simple.
The meeting at the school district was about the Credit Recovery Program. Jail in school for 180 days. The student works in silence on his computer and cannot have any food or cell phone or talk to anyone. And no absences. But if he progresses with his classes he will get the credits he now is missing. I agreed to it. A little discipline never hurt anyone. My son was ambivalent, but agreed. He really misses his friends and the social aspect of school and wants to get back ASAP. ASAP is next October if he goes through June. The program offers a Liason and classes in substance abuse/counseling, which may be very helpful. I figure after all of this he will be counseled to death and will either be cured or incurable.
I hope all of this is a step forward. My son has been on lockdown this entire time with almost no friends. A lonely life. And I am worried. Yesterday he begged me for E-cigarettes. He says he wont be able to stay off drugs without something to help with it. I feel sorry for him, for being imprisoned by a substance for his well being and happiness. I wish he could find internal loci and faith to cope.
But isn’t that what many of us wish for our kids?