17 Comments

Ode to my body

This was written by a GOOD friend, summerstommy from Morpethroad in response to my Turning 45 Quotes. He is making fun of me, and while it is NOT flattering, and very earthy humor, I laughed and laughed at his imaginative sense of humor.  I hope you like his lighthearted scenario as much as I did!

I am ready,

Dressed to the nines

[Dribble]

I look a million dollars

Never looked better

[Run]

Everything in place

Oh no, have I?

[Splash]

Yes. Thank goodness,

I am right to go.

[Drip]

Oh look, the Smyth’s

Hello darling

[Leak]

You look divine

As do you my love

[Ooze]                        

Oh I’ve dropped my bag

Mustn’t bend oops!

[Squirt]

Did you hear that?

What? No!

[Trickle]

I must excuse myself

There’s a smell can you?

[Discharge]

Darling we must be going

We must? We MUST!

[Seep]

You made a mockery of me

It’s not my fault

[Exude]

Sorry thought you were organized

Forgive me your bodily limitations.

 

I have no control of what emanates from my person

Please accept my condition

I will do more pelvic floor

Before I next go out the door…..

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17 comments on “Ode to my body

  1. OH NO!!!! An affliction that so many women suffer from. #SoWrongButSoTrue!

    Fabulous Michael!! I wonder how many more of these inappropriate Odes we can expect in the future? I would suggest a book of Inappropriate Odes goes up for sale on Amazon. I’d pay $14.99!

    lol

    ML
    xx

  2. pffft ..oh dear was that me? How embarassment… but funny and so true…

  3. wow, i did not laugh. maybe because IBS (as opposed to IRS) and assorted activities are funny only at the right time in the right context (IRS, on the other hand is funny MOST of the time unless you are doing your taxes). or maybe….just maybe…it is from being around a bunch of farting adolescents trying to be funny.

  4. it is strange, young lady, but i do believe you have inspired me again….see Mr and Mrs Boring and The Scratch and Sniff

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