Silly Arguments

My husband and I get into the goofyest arguments. I guess it comes from the irritation of being married for too long.  After all, 20 years is a generation.   I have ISSUES, and one of them is anything that my cats put on the carpet that should be in their stomach or the litter box.  I am a bit paranoid over it.  I also hate dirty floors. The feeling of dirt or pieces of STUFF on my feet really gross me out. So if nothing else I try to keep my floors halfway clean.  And I can go from 0-100 when people leave loads of stuff all over the floor or I see crumbs and items that can get embedded in my carpet.

My son has similar issues, although he is one of the worst for leaving crumbs. But he will vacuum without being asked.  He has visual space cleanliness needs like his momma.  Thank the Lord one of them does.

Brent and I were in the bathroom today and I was all ready to vacuum when I saw a hard lump of something on the floor.


Brent looked down and didn’t bat an eyelash.

I think it’s a turd.

A TURD! On my floor!  What the heck? The litter box is pristine and they turd right next to it!

They don’t like you.  It is their way of showing it.

Oh, piss off, you.

Brent smirked and started walking out the bedroom.


Now what?

OMG, it is a hairball.

Youre crazy. It is simply cat hair. Now stop being dramatic.  You have the vacuum, just vacuum it up.

You don’t see the moisture on it.

I’m not looking for moisture, that is gross and you need to take a pill.

If I pick this up and it has moisture then you are in trouble mister.

Why me? I didn’t hack it up.

Because you are not being sympathetic or nice about it.  You should be making me feel better and cleaning it up for me so I can vacuum.  Better yet, why don’t you vacuum and I will clean it up?

Because I am not OCD.  If you want it gone, just vacuum it, goofball!  Bye!

Now I am protective of my vacuum. It is my lifeline to sanity.  And wet hairball will not play nice with it.  I looked suspiciously at the moist looking grey piece of fur.  I knew it was a hairball and he was just being dismissive of my fears.  After all, I just found a turd in my bathroom.  It stands to reason that they would want to mess with me in every way possible.

I got some TP and picked it up.  Yup, it was moist. Oh Yak me.  At least there wasn’t any mucoid discharge on the rug.  Whew, I got off easy.

Living with 4 animals who don’t respect the rules gives me heartburn.


15 comments on “Silly Arguments

  1. There appears to be an overwhelming shift towards bodily functions of one kind or another Lori. Though I do get the living with four animals bit. Interesting house you live in.

  2. Hmmm, turds and hairballs….what could this mean? I think it’s a sign. Could it be a sign? One lump from one end, one from the other….I’m going to have to ask my friend Stewart about this because he knows all things cat and all things Omen. Cat-omenous? I’m sure there must be a solution. Let me know.

  3. I’m lucky. One feline does his business outside, the other, is well trained in the art of hand to hand … to paw to paw …. indoor box to indoor box…….combat!

    • You just wait until your indoor cat gets his nose out of joint voer some offense you did. Then the poo will fly. Brent says that Moki poos on my side of the room because she doesn’t like me! I now have a complex over it. 🙂 At least, I have a complex over the cat poo….

  4. fecal matter in any form is a barfable offense, punishable by bad breath, sweaty armpits, and OCD mommas.

  5. No, Lori I’m with you. he vacuum is no place for something like that. Neither is the floor.
    xxx Huge Hugs xxx

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