The IRS is on the phone….

My husband and I did something really really stupid.  For two smart professionals we are mere infants when it comes to financial savvy.  My husband has a fatalistic view of America’s financial health and feels that a major crash is inevitable.  Based on that premise, he decided to take out some money from his retirement to pay some bills and have some solvency…without checking fully into the ramifications of this action.  He assumed that other than the 10% penalty fee and regular taxes we would have the rest to use for some items we needed such as house painting and the like.

He was wrong.

And divorce was a word I lovingly savored when I did the taxes this year and discovered that all that money was considered income.  Unfortunately it put us in the highest tax bracket by 2000.00 and we had to pay 5% on our entire yearly income to the total tune of 21000.00.

Bye bye retirement money.

At least I only used part of it.  I have just enough to pay the taxes with the rest.  So my husband worked all those years to pay the government for the 4th time on the little that he earned.

I have bruises from the head banging that I subjected myself to when I looked at all those zeros after completing Taxcut.  But I cant fully blame him. I could have checked into it.  And I certainly would have if I knew to do so.  But how does one know to check when one doesn’t even know to check?  Yes, an investment person would have paid off.  But I have always seen those people as money sharks.  My bad.

I so wish my dad was still alive.  I would have asked him and saved myself a lot of grief.  He worked for a bank and was a genius with finances and retirement planning.

Unfortunately I didn’t get that gene…..

I thought the pain was done until I went to pay bills today.  Stupid action #2 was assuming that the “return accepted” notification meant that my online taxes would actually be posted to my account when I filled in the fields. I didn’t check on the day I set the payment.

Another stupid assumption….

Of course it is all “my problem”.  God forbid my husband lifts a finger from his [bleep] computer gaming to check.  Heck, he’s never accessed our online bank account or paid bills in his life.  Lucky me….

I was paying bills and saw, to my delight, that my bank account was healthier than I thought it would be after all that money was debited.  Hmmm….wait….nothing good ever happens to me…..

So I looked at all the debits and was relived to see the federal and Kansas debits.  Hmm…didn’t I have a Missouri taxbill too?

I went to Taxcut and yup, a huge tax bill, meaning that my bank account was actually in the toilet as I expected.

But where was the debit?

Oh crap, I am delinquent…..


My husband is home today and watched as I started rumpling my hair and yelling.

“#*#*#”!    “#*#*”!  “#*#*”!

“What are you doing to yourself? Ok, you are scaring me..STOP THAT!”

I started wringing my hands and breathing heavy. “I think I need a BAG…”

And then I started to cry.  “Just SHOOT me and get my pain over with…”

“Stop being a drama queen.”

Gulp.  “Our Missouri taxes weren’t posted to our account.  We are delinquent and I cant access the screens from Taxcut to see what happened.  I’m going to JAIL…”

Eye roll

After I got myself together I discussed the situation with HR Block but they were not able to look at the screens to see if any of the information was mistyped.

I was 39th in line on the Missouri Department of Revenue helpline for delinquents with an estimated time of 46 minutes.

Well, maybe that means there are a bunch of other idiots too who didn’t check their bank debit.  There is comfort in communal misery, right?

Can you imagine being the poor bloke on the end of those lines?  Ok, my job may not be so bad after all……

Every 10 seconds it updated my status.  ” You are number 37 in line.  Your wait time is 44 minutes.”  Then it gave information on how to pay online or by phone.

It went steadily down until I reached 24th in line.  Then it stalled.  Must be a bad one.  By this time I was ready to hang myself from hearing the message over and over.

No way was I going to pay online until I got assurance that the debit wouldn’t be double posted.  I have just enough to pay it once, so, teeth gritted, I continued to listen to what was becoming the auditory version of the Chinese water torture method.

Ok, let’s look on the bright side.  I took a long break from blogging, having nothing left to give after returning to work 50 plus hours a week last summer.  Recently I have started writing poetry again on my poetry blog, realizing that it was a form of therapy for me and my sour mood needed a vent.

I need some angst in my soul or I need to be a little hypo-manic to write.  So tapping into my current crisis should be quite productive, right?  While waiting, I should come up with something good.

Crap.  I’m just too pissed off to think.



2 comments on “The IRS is on the phone….

  1. I’m sorry to hear of your current struggles.What a nerve to make you pay tax as income on money you’ve already paid tax on. I hope everything works itself out and there are no delinquent fees or ‘Jail Time’ as you fear.
    xxx Huge Hugs xxx

  2. what kind of retirement account was that he pulled the money from? because the vast majority of them are pre-tax dollars, so it is actually income. if you put it back into the retirement account the tax would be a LOT smaller.BUT, before you pay it all to the govt, Talk directly to the IRS about it, not a state tax person or HR Block.

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