Oh Those Odes

Ode to the Middle Aged Size of my Thighs

There is a body part I do not prize and that is the lumpy size of my thighs! For while getting older makes one wise, it spreads the body to an ever larger size. My thighs always won the humor prize, with varicose veins as fat as French fries. And no matter how many stairsteps […]

Ode to the Gas We Pass

Gas, in all forms, take up much of our time from natural gas to heat our homes to gasoline to fuel our cars to gas we produce as a bodily function.  Our world as we know it would collapse without gas.  Our intestinal health would collapse without gas.  Yet gas continues to have a bad […]

Ode to Saggy Baggy Pants

I wrote this because, like any middle aged person, I have forgotten what it is like to be young and a slave to your hormones.  And dress is your outer skin to the world.  Men want women, women want money, so the strange fashions continue so that this never ending cycle will produce the next […]

Ode to the Nose that Flows

It is allergy season in my house. I listen with delight at the orchestral sneezing, coughing, whining and wheezing,  tailored for my maximum irritation.  A portion of my ever lessening paycheck goes to remedies, medication, quackery and tissues.  Any attempt by me to open the windows is met with horror, and I am threatened with dire […]

Ode to a Floating Dust Mote

I am allergic to dust (or more likely, dust mites), so I have air filters in all the bedrooms.  But with four cats, two litter boxes and four people, dust is an enemy never conquered.  The only time I have real allergy issues is when I “dust”, and since I hate to dust  because I […]

Ode to the Hair We Wear Part Two

It’s amazing to me how an inanimate strand of protein-collagen complex can rock our world.  The glory of hair transforms self–esteem, gives iconic and succinct explanations of our day (as in “having a bad hair day”), crowns the world of fashion and Haute Couture, and supports a multi-billion dollar industry.  Before cancer I had great hair.  Long […]

Ode to Obstructed Breathing Flow

Sleep comes poorly to those who have obstructed airway flow. Sometimes snores shake head to toe;. sometimes breathing entirely slows. Obstructive snorts make bedfellows rage causing connubial bliss to quickly go.                 Eventually an ultimatum is given:                     fix the problem or sleep apart.   So the poor sufferer is medically driven to silence snoring’s unpopular […]